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Friday, July 8, 2011

An Interview with Circle 8 Writers Group Author Robert L. Arend

by Circle 8 Writers on Saturday, June 25, 2011 at 1:18am
C8: Robert—or should I call you Bob?
RA: No. But you may refer to me as ‘The Robert’.
C8: Um, how about Mr. Arend?
RA: Too formal. I’m a warm and friendly guy. Can I call you ‘C’?
C8: No.
RA: Okay.
C8: You’ve written stories in all Circle 8 anthologies except the first one, Consequences. Why didn’t you write for that one?
RA: Frankly, I was trying to choose between C8 and taking a job writing speeches for President Obama.
C8: The President asked you to be his speechwriter?
RA: Nope.
C8: Then why did you say—?
RA: I’m a fiction writer. Lying is what we do.
C8: (shakes head and thinks about knives) Okay. So, you gave up being a fake speechwriter and joined the Circle 8 Writers Group for our 2nd anthology Crime & Punishment.
RA: What a great title. I think somebody wrote a bestseller with that title back in the olden days.
C8: You had two stories in that: Switch and The Scam. Let’s talk about Switch. In that, you opened the story with a ghost kissing her own dead corpse. What message were you trying to convey by that?
RA: Um, I guess…a ghost woman kissing another woman who’s dead is kind of hot?
C8: (clears her throat) What about The Scam? In that you write of a waitress who can’t sing, who is willing to do anything to prove she can. Is what you were trying to explore the way women can become victims of their own hopes and dreams?
RA: (clearly puzzled) No. I just hate it when waitresses would rather sing than fetch me my meal.
C8: (imagines her hands squeezing RA’s throat) Let’s move on. In our 3rd anthology Dark Christmas, you wrote The Little Drummer Zombie Boy. Why?
RA: Um, guess I didn’t have anything better to do?
C8: (imagines RA naked, tied to the ground in 110 degree sun, fire ants crawling all over him) In our 4th anthology Roses & Thorns, you have three stories: The Poet, The Engagement Game and What’s for Dinner? Why so many?
RA: I wanted to reward the group for not firing me for The Little Drummer Zombie Boy.
C8: Yet What’s for Dinner is another disgusting zombie story.
RA: Yes, but zombie sex sells!
C8: (visualizes RA dangling off a cliff, and she steps on his fingers) So, then, Robert, what plans have you for our dear readers in our upcoming 5th anthology Mothers & Other Strangers?
RA: Got three stories in it: Under the Tree That Owns Itself, Just Talking, and The Butterfly.
C8: Oh, The Butterfly. How nice. I love pretty butterflies.
RA: Then you’ll love that story. It’s about a woman who thinks a butterfly she finds on her dead husband’s pillow is him reincarnated. The love scene will knock your socks off.
C8: Good day, Robert….

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